Meet the Duggar family, a captivating clan that has held America’s attention ever since they debuted on TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” in 2008. Originating from a Baptist background, the Duggars are renowned not just for their unusually large family size, but also for their stringent adherence to their faith’s principles.
These guiding tenets significantly shape their day-to-day life, from interpersonal dynamics to the decision to have a large brood. As divisive as they are intriguing, the Duggars continue to be a subject of both admiration and critique, making them one of the most talked-about families in modern reality TV history.
Teenage Dream
Both Michelle and Jim Bob were teenagers when they met and decided to tie the knot. They were both members of the same church in the 1980s, and Jim Bob knew he wanted to make Michelle his wife.
In 1984, Michelle was 17 years old when she walked down the aisle to marry Jim Bob who was 19. Their marriage has lasted, and they both did not have any previous relationships before their wedding day.
All The Bathrooms
When you have 19 children, and two adults living under the same roof you need to be sure that every member of the family has what they need. Sharing rooms is pretty normal for kids, but you can’t easily share a house with two or three bathrooms between 21 people. The Duggars knew they were going to have a large family, and that’s why they invested in a home that has enough bathrooms for everyone to share easily.
Their house has a grand total of nine bathrooms, seven of which come with a shower or a bathtub. That keeps everyone squeaky clean, and it helps to avoid any morning arguments while people get ready for work and school.
Blanket Time
There are a few strange parenting methods used by the Duggars, that a lot of parents have chosen not to use. One of these is called, “blanket time” or blanket training. It is used for the toddlers who need to learn how to behave in the house. If they do something they are not supposed to, they are put on “blanket time.”
That means that they have to sit on a quilt or blanket, and not move from it until they are told to. If they do try to move off of it, then the parent watching them grabs a ruler and swats them.
Staying Modest
A lot of teenage boys tend to look at other girls around their age, and imagine what it would be like to date them. The Duggars do not want their sons to have any immodest thoughts about women, which led them to create a ‘safe word.’ This safe word, which for the Dugggars is ‘Nike’ is said whenever one of the Duggar boys appears to be having impure thoughts.
If a girl who is dressed in a way they have deemed immodest is close by, then the whole family will say, ‘Nike’ to make everyone aware of the situation. This is supposed to help the boys avoid being tempted by her.
Something Old
There is a tradition for brides getting married that they must have something old, something, new, something borrowed, and something new on their wedding days. For the Duggar girls, they initially wanted that something old or borrowed to be their mom’s wedding dress.
Michelle Duggar realized it would be impossible for each of her daughters to wear her dress, which led to the creation of a small wedding dress token. Each daughter is given a part of Michelle’s wedding dress to be incorporated into their new one. That way they all have a small piece of the original dress.
The Letter J
As soon as you watch an episode of the show, and you hear the children’s names being called you will notice one important thing. Every child’s name begins with the letter ‘J.’ This has been done intentionally by Michelle and Jim Bob.
Their first child was named John from the Bible, and from then on the tradition continued. Jana, one of the twins, is named after Michelle’s grandmother, whose original name was Ana.
No Tattoos
Due to their faith, Michelle and Jim Bob have interpreted passages from the Bible in their own fashion. One of the verses in the good book, details why a person should not have any skin art.
That is why none of the Duggar children have gotten tattoos once they have come of age. Getting a tattoo is seen as the same as being with a significant other before getting married. It’s simply not something that’s allowed.
Kissing Lessons
The Duggar children do not watch any television shows or series that show characters being intimate with each other. That means that they don’t learn what to do with their spouse through the media, but instead through the parents.
Michelle teaches her daughters how to kiss, and anything else they need to know before getting married. Jim Bob does the same for their sons, and nobody finds it odd. The Duggar ladies think it’s a good way to learn.
Being Punished
While the show has never gone into great detail about this, there have been reports that the Duggars use a specific type of punishment for their older children. It’s called the rod, and either Jim Bob or Michelle uses it to punish their children when they do something very bad.
This is similar to spanking, but is used with an object instead of a hand. The police have investigated the Duggars, and their usage of the rod.
Rival Sisters
Having a sister is hard, having 18 brothers and sisters is even harder. For Jana and Jessa they have often been portrayed as having a sibling rivalry. As the elder sister, Jana is the one who gets to lay down the law, and teaches her younger siblings about the rules of the house.
Jessa does not like to listen to her sister, and often talks back to her. That’s normal in any family though, sibling rivalry is natural.
Feeding The Family
Having 19 kids means that you have to feed them as well. Michelle and Jim Bob have to meal plan, and create menus to ensure that every member of the family gets the food they need to thrive.
Michelle and some of the other family members are responsible for making the grocery list, and doing the shopping. It costs about $3,000 to feed the family each month, which is a huge chunk of money.
Always Use “Soft Words”
It’s important to learn what to say and what not to say when you grow up. For a lot of kids that means no swearing or derogatory language. The Duggars call their way of speaking “soft words.”
All members of the family are expected to speak with kindness and respect to one another. If you feel yourself getting angry, you’re not supposed to express mean feelings but instead calm yourself down. This is a good rule for any family.
Dancing Before Marriage
While the Duggars like to foster a love of music amongst their children, they don’t really want them dancing to it. Dancing with a man or woman before you are married is considered to be immodest.
When you get married, then you can dance with your husband or wife. Before that you need to abstain, and save all of your dancing for your significant other. You will rarely see any dancing on the show.
Laundry Day
With so many members of the family living under one roof, there is a lot of laundry that needs to be done. From sheets to clothing, every family member needs to have clean clothes. To keep up with all of the laundry, some of the kids are put on laundry duty.
They have to use the four washers and dryers to get around 40 loads of laundry done each week. On top of that, all of the laundry needs to be folded as well.
Homeschooling
Michelle and Jim Bob agree that the only way to make sure their children learn the curriculum they want taught is through homeschooling. Each Duggar child received a very specific homeschooling education, and some of the grandchildren are receiving the same one now.
However, some of the Duggar kids have broken with tradition and sent their kids to public school. Jill is one of the daughters who has done this. Michelle and Jim Bob weren’t thrilled by this.
Asking For Gifts
Traditionally, when someone gets married they receive some gifts or money from the guests at their wedding. When Jessa married Ben, they decided to mix things up a bit and ask everyone they knew, including fans of the show for money or gift cards.
Their thinking behind this, was that it would help them to begin their new life together away from Michelle and Jim Bob. Some of their fans didn’t think this was a fair thing to ask.
Some Motherly Advice
Michelle makes sure that all of her daughters know how to behave around their husbands, and how to treat them before they get married. There is one major piece of advice that she imparts with all of them.
That piece of advice is to always be attuned to their husbands needs. If they seem like they are down, then their wife should be there to help lift them up. You need to be there, even if you don’t feel very good yourself.
Side Hugs Before Marriage
The Duggars believe that a lot of acts, like hugging, are too intimate to be done outside of marriage. When one of their children begins dating, they can give a side hug. That way only half the body comes into contact with the man or woman you are dating.
Once you are married you can hug your spouse from the front, but only then. They believe a hug is something special that should be saved for someone who is worthy of it.
No Family Planning
You might be surprised to find this out, but Jim Bob and Michelle did not always plan on having a large family. When they first got married, Michelle used the contraceptive birth control pill.
After experiencing some miscarriages, the couple decided Michelle’s time on the pill might be to blame. From then on they stopped using any form of family planning, and the kids started coming. Many of their own children have followed the example set by their parents.
A Father’s Approval
Most boyfriends are nervous to meet their girlfriends’ fathers, and they should be when it comes to Jim Bob. He must give his approval for all matches, which means potential suitors for his daughters must sit down with him and declare their intentions.
If he doesn’t like one of the suitors, then his daughter will not be going out with them. That sounds like it could be a very frustrating experience for some of his daughters.
The Chore List
To keep the house running smoothly, every child has a set list of chores that they need to complete on certain days of the week. At the age of 3, each son and daughter is given chores that they can do at their age.
They do get paid for these, but it’s only 3 cents a chore which is not that much. The Duggars call this their allowance, but it must take a lot of time to save up some money!
Social Media
There are a lot of pretty strict rules in the Duggar household, but one of the strictest has to do with social media. If you want an Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or TikTok account you have to be married.
If you’re not married then you cannot have an account, as it is very hard to control what content is displayed. Something inappropriate or immodest might pop onto the screen, and Michelle and Jim Bob want to avoid that.
A Strict Moral Code
The Duggar family upholds a very strict moral code. Jill Duggar decided to become a midwife, which requires a lot of training. One of her close friends was pregnant, and thought it would be nice to have a midwife that she knew well.
Jill wanted to assist in the birth, but she could not because the friend was an unwed mother. She had to explain why she couldn’t assist her friend, which must have been pretty difficult.
Til Death
The wedding vows in the Bible are very specific, and one of the verses says, “Until death do us part.” The Duggars believe that marriage is for life, and no matter what you stand by your spouse.
This was difficult for Josh Duggar’s wife, as it became clear that he had been unfaithful to her. She decided to follow the Duggar family moral code and did not file for divorce. The two are still married to this day.
The Same Faith
As the Duggars adhere so strictly to the Baptist faith, it would not be possible for someone of another faith to join their family. Every spouse of their sons or daughters has come from the Baptist church, which has made assimilating into the family a lot easier.
Other faiths have very different beliefs, or a more moderate belief system which would not work in the Duggar household.
Room For Everyone
Meal times and game nights are very important in the Duggar house. Everyone must come together and give thanks for the bounty on the table. That means there needs to be a seat for each family member.
The dining room table where the whole family sits is a whopping 18 feet long. They might need to add a few feet for when new spouses join the family!
A Political Career
In addition to their popular show, Jim Bob has made a career as a real estate agent and in politics. At one point he was a member in the House of Representatives for Arkansas.
He wanted to be in the senate, but he did not lead a successful campaign. Jim Bob now focuses solely on the world of real estate within Arkansas.
No Hanky Panky
If you want to date a Duggar girl, then you have to follow all of the rules set forth by the Baptist faith and Jim Bob. One of the main rules is that there is no premarital action at all.
That includes front hugs, and any kind of kissing. Anyone who has grown up in the faith knows these rules, and easily accepts them.
Shared Bedrooms
You would need a mansion to house all 19 kids and give them their own bedrooms. Michelle and Jim Bob have a large house, but all of their children are expected to share bedrooms.
The girls and the boys are separated, but each child has its own bed in their respective bedrooms. The kids like sharing, and always having someone to play with.
No Romance Novels
Romance novels are a good way for young ladies to learn about love, and what happens after you get married. For the Duggars though, this is a major no-no. They may be allowed to read them after they are married, but under the Duggar roof this will not happen.
Romance novels tend to feature stories that are considered immodest by Jim Bob and Michelle.