Bride demands wedding gifts despite guests already paying over $1,000 to attend the big day

No one can deny the fact that weddings are an expensive payout. There are so many different things that need to be paid for – the venue, the decorations, the food, and don’t forget the dress too. But even though weddings don’t come cheap, it doesn’t mean the big day should revolve around how much things cost. The biggest isn’t always the best, and the most expensive isn’t always the best either. Here’s what happened when a bride demanded a gift from each guest, despite it being a destination wedding.

Guestlist

It’s pretty much a given that the bride and groom will pay for you to join them on their big day – you get a free dinner, and if there’s also an open bar then it’s even more of a winner!

However, when it comes to destination weddings, the couple should always expect their guest list to be slightly smaller than others because some people just can’t afford to pay out for flights, accommodation, and everything in between.

Going abroad

What’s more? They should also not expect a gift seen as their guests will already be spending a big sum of money just to be there. Nonetheless, there’s one particular bride who doesn’t seem to agree with this as not only has she asked her invitees to buy their own flights, but she also expects them to bring along a present too.

The bride’s cheeky request has been outed on the forum site mumsnet.com by the username Brownieb, and by the looks of things, their guest is far from impressed with feeling pressured to spend even more money on her big day.

Expensive trip

So are the bride’s request for a gift justified? Should she really expect her guests to bring along a present for her too? Well, this particular anonymous guest certainly doesn’t think so, and we can’t help but agree with her.

In the post made by Brownieb, they explain how they’re not going to give away too many details because they want to avoid exposing the bride, but nonetheless, it’s clear Brownieb is concerned about paying out so much money. Due to it being a destination wedding, the guest has already had to buy flights and accommodation, which has come to over $1,300.

Great expectations

Now she is expected to also “buy a nice present” for the couple too, despite having already put in so much effort and money just to be there and celebrate with them. She asks the forum: “I feel like I shouldn’t have to.

Am I being unfair to think this?” She then goes on to explain the situation more, telling the forum that not only is it a wedding abroad, but the couple has also chosen an expensive time of the year when flights are at their most expensive. The expenses of a vacation are never cheap, so spending money to attend a destination wedding is a big commitment to make.

A family missing out

The reason Brownieb is so concerned about the wedding is that she is the mother of a young child. This means they are missing out on having a family vacation together because they are already having to spend so much money on coming to the wedding.

Although you could suggest that they incorporate the family vacation into the time they are away for the wedding, Brownieb also explains how the country they’re going to is far too hot for their young child to be out in the sun all day. It’s just generally not somewhere they would ever want to travel to.

A lucky couple

Any couple who decide to plan a wedding abroad should always lower their expectations. If you decide you want to get married so far from home, then you need to fully appreciate and understand that your guests are putting in extra effort to be there on your special day.

This particular couple is lucky that the guest has even said yes, so to then demand a gift too, they’re definitely playing with fire and going a little too far.

Costly resort

Brownieb then continues by explaining how she and her husband are in turmoil about the situation, feeling confused about how they should feel and whether they should even go, let alone bring a gift too.

The resort where the wedding is taking place is very upscale, and so they have had to stay in alternative accommodation that costs a lot less. Nonetheless, they have still paid out thousands, and that’s not even taking into consideration spending money too.

Demands

Perhaps the most frustrating thing for Brownieb is that she knows the couple hasn’t had to pay anything towards the wedding because their parents have covered the costs. This has meant they are seemingly unappreciative of just how expensive the wedding is costing their guests.

It’s almost like they have turned a blind eye to it. If you’re going to decide to get married abroad, then you need to be as fair and considerate as possible. Money doesn’t grow on trees!

Present list

The worst part about the whole ordeal is that the couple actually got angry when Brownieb told them they’re not going to be staying at the resort. Not only this, but it turns out that they were so mad about it because the more guests who stay at the resort, the more freebies they get.

The couple are quite obviously being overwhelmingly selfish, despite the fact that all of their friends and family are being selfless by coming along!

Feeling conflicted

Brownieb then ends the post by saying: “rant over…deep breath…” There’s no doubt she’s feeling completely torn about what to do. She has two choices. She could choose to be the better person by sucking it up – attend the wedding with a gift in her hand and never forget how selfish her friend has been.

Or she could alternatively choose not to attend, and explain why the best she can. Honesty is the best policy, and sometimes, you need to be selfish in life.

Posting online

Whatever she chooses to do, she quite obviously wants to get some advice first. By posting on the forum, she has the opportunity to get the general consensus on whether the bride is being unreasonable or not. People always tell the truth on forums.

So after posting her story, what kind of responses did she get? Did people agree with her? Well, by the looks of things, the majority of people understood her frustrations a lot.

Above and beyond

In fact, the bride has been labeled as totally unfair, with most people viewing her behavior as selfish and unreasonable. One user commented: “Please tell me you’ve decided not to go? It’s madness!

I would say that as soon as you accepted the invite, then you already gave them a present – your attendance!” Another user commented: “Just send them a card that says “our presence is your present. You should absolutely not feel like you have to.”

Generosity

It’s almost as though the couple is entirely unaware of the generosity that people have shown them by coming along to their wedding. Brownieb should in no way feel bad if she didn’t bring them a gift, there just might be a little bit of an awkward moment.

One user explained how they too have been in a similar situation: “I’ve been to two destination weddings before, don’t worry! We didn’t buy presents either as it was so expensive to get there.”

Cancellation

Others on the forum were urging her to cancel their attendance altogether. The cheek of just asking for a gift is enough to cancel the flights. One user commented: “Life’s way too short for this. Book a holiday for yourselves and cancel the plans.

Instead, you should make some memories going somewhere you actually want to.” Another user commented: “You’re not obliged to go, skip it and go on a nice vacation yourself.”

Fake invitation

Another user expressed their suspicions that they might have only invited them along to bump up the numbers and get some free gifts from the hotel. They wrote: “If they are actually angry you’re staying at a different resort rather than being pleased you’re even coming, it makes me wonder whether they wanted you there in the first place.

It’s an invitation, not a subpoena!” This is a good point. It all seems rather stressful.

First-hand experience

There were also a few other users expressing their opinion after having a destination wedding themselves. One user commented: “Me and my husband had one. It’s cheeky to expect your guests to pay for flights and a gift. Don’t go!”

Another user commented: “I had mine abroad and explained a gift is totally optional. It’s normal for not everyone to bring gifts to a wedding away from home. Honestly cancel the whole thing now.”

Another greedy couple

Unfortunately, not all brides understand how expensive weddings can be for the guests as well as the couple themselves, and this bride described by Brownieb is undoubtedly one of them.

However, there is another similar story come to light on mumsnet.com, and this time it is about a bride who expressed their dislike to a gift she was given and asked the person to change it. How rude can you get! This is what happened.

Ex-colleague

An anonymous guest posted on mumsnet.com in May 2016, explaining how shocked she was to receive an email a few days after the wedding from the newlyweds. But what did the email say? And what relation was she to the happy couple?

Well, she was an ex-colleague of the bride, and she had given the couple a cheque of $100. Anybody would generally be pleased to receive this, especially from an estranged ex-colleague.

A snarky email

The email opened with the couple thanking everyone for coming and them explaining how grateful they were for the love shown to them. Sounds all good so far, right?

Well, as the guest got to the end of her email, there was another sentence attached, and it said: “We were surprised that the contribution you made didn’t match the warmth of your well wishes that you showed us on the day. In light of your own position, if you wanted to adjust the amount, it would be well thanked.”

Shocked

The guest was flabbergasted. Did she really just read that? How could someone have the audacity to ask for more money? They were lucky to receive anything! And a $100 cheque is a pretty generous donation, especially from someone who isn’t a relative or close friend.

Then the guest realized that they were trying to get extra money from her because she had recently been awarded a great inheritance – hence why they said someone “in your position.”

Feeling confused

The guest didn’t know how to react. She never thought someone could be so cheeky. There was absolutely no way she was going to give them any more money, but what was she going to reply? Should she even reply at all? Should she just ignore them?

Or should she go full out and ring them demanding an explanation? Well, the guest needed some advice first, hence why she took her story to the Mumsnet forum. She would always get the truth there!

Getting answers

Of course, she got a lot of responses, and all of them were in just as much shock as she was. One user commented: “This is so bizarre. The grabbiness of this is beyond ghastly. How greedy can you get!.”

Another user commented a similar opinion saying: “That is utterly shocking. It’s worrying to know people have no moral compass whatsoever. Whatever you do, please don’t send them any money. Just ignore them.”

A great reply

But the guest was in no mind to ignore them. It might have been the best thing to do, but how could you not reply to such a rude message? Instead, she decided she was going to answer in the best way possible – to be polite and dignified.

After a few days pondering on what to do, she finally responded saying: “I assume this was kind of mistake?” Brilliant! Now maybe they would realize how out of line they were.