Signs a couple will get divorced, according to a wedding photographer


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Signs a couple will get divorced, according to a wedding photographer

Wedding photographers have a unique view of one’s big day. They are there (literally hired by the couple) to document every moment of the special day. On the positive end of the spectrum, they are there to capture the tears of joy, the sweet reunions of friends and family, and the beauty of the event itself. On the not-so-positive end of things, wedding photographers also capture the stress the couple is under that day from months of planning, the doubts they may have, the frustration they may be feeling, and any family drama that may ensue. Seeing as wedding photographers spend their days watching people tie the knot, they have developed a key eye for the couples that they are pretty sure will make it in the long run or not. There are red flags that these wedding professionals learned to see and they are sharing them all online, as such, we have collected these juicy little tidbits both out of curiosity and perhaps to learn and thing or two as what not to do.

Cutting the cake


There are two ways the cake cutting can go, either the couple smashes cake all over the others’ face or they feed each other the cake in a civil manner. One wedding photographer said that the several couples where she saw the groom smash cake all over the bride’s face (who has spent quite a penny on her makeup for the day) have all ended with the couple eventually filing for divorce.

The cake situation was the red flag she thought it was.
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Arguing during the photoshoot


Arguing while in front of your hired photographer is a red flag if anyone has ever seen one. A wedding and engagement photographer said that she was on a shoot on a glacier in Iceland with a couple for their engagement pictures when the two broke out into an argument that lasted no less than two hours.

The argument that the two were having was over the hotel they were staying in and how the future bride was unhappy with the fact that the hotel was not more luxurious. Instead of being in the love bubble, these two were fighting the whole time.
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R.E.S.P.E.C.T.


The basis of any good and stable relationship is respect and trust. One photographer said that to him a huge indicator of success for a couple’s future marriage is how they treat him and each other during an all-day photoshoot where things can go wrong or become stressful.

A photo shoot is nothing compared to the trials couples will face throughout their marriage, so if they cannot handle the day of posing then what hope is there for them when they have real issues arise in their lives? The photographer sees it as a huge red flag when respect is not shown at this early stage.
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A quiet groom


Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life, so when a former photographer spoke of one such occasion where the bride was a bubble of joy but the groom was a quiet and somber groom, he knew that this marriage was not one for the books. He later learned that the couple divorced about one year after their wedding day.

To this photographer, if one or both of the wedding couple is uncharacteristically quiet on the wedding day (meaning not just nervous), then to him that spells trouble. Questioning one’s decision usually makes someone extra quiet on their wedding day.
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Trying to change


A wedding videographer remarked that another red flag is when one half of the couple tries to change the other. While it is completely healthy for couples to do their own thing and have their own interests that are not necessarily shared by the other person, it is not a good sign when one tries to change the person they are with, it shows a lack of compatibility.

This same videographer saw this very instance in a couple he was hired by for their wedding and later learned that not only did they not remain married long but they actually got an annulment.
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Country luck


The music a couple chooses for their wedding day, specifically their first dance, is a huge indicator of success according to wedding photographers. A former wedding photographer assistant said that couples that she saw who chose to dance their first dance to a country ballad were the ones who almost always ended up divorced.

While a correlation between a song and a couple is a little far-fetched, you cannot argue with these facts. No country ballads for us then!
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Apologizing all the time


One of the biggest red flags is when a couple constantly apologizes to one another over issues with decision making, going back on decisions that were made, or acting in a rude way due to the stress they are both under.

A wedding planner divulged that seeing a couple who cannot handle planning their wedding is not a good indication of their lives as a married couple. This does not signal doom by any means, but a red flag nonetheless.
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Symbolic ceremony gone awry


One couple decided it would be a good idea to have a sand ceremony where they would each pour different colored sand into a glass jar to mix together in perfect unison.

Unfortunately, the symbolism here went awry when they could not pour properly and ended up making layered sand instead of mixed, essentially symbolizing their lack of compatibility. According to the event’s photographer, the couple ended their marriage after just two years.
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Photo shoot flags


An assistant to an engagement photographer recollected that when a couple is more focused on themselves during a photo shoot, they are far less likely to remain married than a couple that leans on one another to make the shoot less awkward and enjoy it more.

There are personal characteristics that come out during these photo shoots that photographers see all the time and have since learned to assert whether a couple is a proper match.
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Fighting


All of the wedding photographers were in agreement when they said that a couple that fights on their wedding day is pretty unlikely to have a successful marriage.

One photographer reminisced about a couple that was so angry with one another that they did not even look at each other on the wedding day, on the day that is supposed to be the happiest for them was ruined by the fight that they had the day before.
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Self-centered vows


The whole point of vows is to say them to your future spouse and promise things that would be for them. When a bride and groom (both or either) exchanges self-centered vows, it is a red flag for the wedding professionals.

A wedding video editor came across a vow ceremony that was downright selfish. He said that the ones that make it are the ones who make sincere and at times nerdy vows to each other.
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Team players


Veteran wedding photographer Chris says that for him it is very easy to spot the couples that are meant to be. The couples who are always on the same team, despite disagreements or differing opinions, they are always there for each other and bring each other up rather than take sides and tear one another down.

It is all about teamwork and being there for your significant other, otherwise, there is little hope for marital success.
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Kind customers


When you are dating, it is said that you should notice how your date treats the waiters at your date spot. The way your significant other acts towards the service staff speaks volumes as to his or her personality. The same goes for wedding planning.

One jeweler said that if a couple is shopping for a wedding ring and are treating the staff in a less than respectful manner then it means that they are not ready and should hold off.
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Doubts


It is completely normal for a bride and groom to feel nervous on their wedding day. They are, after all, exchanging vows in front of a lot of people usually and the center of the attention is on them.

What is a red flag are nagging doubts that will not go away? Nerves are one thing, but doubts are the ones you need to watch out for, it may be your gut telling you something.
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Wrong officiant


Who officiates over your wedding is just as important as who you are marrying. One minister laughingly (yet seriously) said that he has a 100% divorce rate for the couples he has officiated for.

Whether in jest or not, the individual officiating over your ceremony needs to be connected to the couple whether by belief, mentality, or even familial connection. There are many couples who opt for a family friend or family minister to officiate so as to keep it as personal as possible.
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The small stuff


When couples look back at their wedding they realize the little mistakes they make. One such example would be sweating the small stuff, like the color of the linen or the way the tables were arranged.
The small stuff

In hindsight, couples say that none of that matters and they wish they would have just been in the moment more rather than obsessing over little details that no one noticed anyway. Hindsight is 20:20, this is good advice for future brides and grooms everywhere.
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Inviting too many people


Another couple remarked on how many people they invited to their wedding and how unnecessary it was. They invited 300 people and 240 showed up. Most of those 240 were obligatory invites that the couple did not even really know and wish they had just invited the very close group and enjoyed a far more intimate party.
Inviting too many people

After all, it is a celebration of love and there is nothing better than having your closest people around you.
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Not eating at the reception


It is practically cliche at this point, but this bride missed out on the food of own wedding and regrets it to this day. It is common that brides are too nervous to eat on their wedding day, but after all of that planning and attention to detail, the bride should enjoy the food she carefully selected for the guests.
Not eating at the reception

Interestingly enough, it is usually the bride and not the groom who cannot find the appetite to eat.
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Bridesmaids


Brides always feel obligated to have bridesmaids and including their family or friends so as to not offend anyone. One bride looked back at her own wedding and said that to be clear, no one needs to have bridesmaids, especially if it an obligatory situation.
Bridesmaids

This bride recalls her sister-in-law yelling at her and making her cry on her wedding day as she was getting into her wedding gown. The less dramatic situations are for the better.
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Wedding planning


Another bride recalls her biggest regret about her wedding day being allowing her mother to be the one who planned the whole affair. She did not want to hurt her mother but her mother took over the entire event and did not allow her daughter or her future husband to have any say about their own wedding.

She wishes she would have been more stern with her mother and taken over the reins when she did not like what was happening.
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Bad timing


There should be an unwritten rule that one cannot get engaged at another couple’s wedding reception. There is something altogether selfish to take an event that is supposed to symbolize a specific couple’s love and make it about yourself. One bride had this happen to her and she is still upset with her stepsister and her fiance for taking the attention on her big day.

She also remarked that her step sister’s marriage lasted a mere two year.
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A groom’s regret


You hear a lot of bride regrets, this time it is the groom. This specific groom regrets not buying a fitting a suit for himself at his wedding but rather renting one. The suit did not fit him well and he still looks at the wedding photos and cringes.

He said that he should have spent more to match the quality dress that his bride was wearing. Say it louder for the people in the back!
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Phones


One bride and groom’s biggest regret on their big day was not taking people’s cell phones away for the wedding ceremony. They had people snapping photos and taking videos during the whole ceremony and the bride did not like it one bit.

She remarked afterward that that was exactly why she invested in a professional photographer and videographer so that guests did not have to. This bride was not having it one little bit.
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