This dedicated dad still buys his ex-wife birthday presents to set example

Parents try to be a shining example for their children. It’s not always easy to stick to being an exemplary adult, but kids are always learning from their parents’ behavior, both good and bad. How many former partners can you say you are still dedicated to after splitting up? One man might have split from his ex-wife years ago, but when he revealed how dedicated he was to his former lover, the internet was wowed.

Keeping things civil

After a divorce, it can be tough for both sides of the split to remain close. After all, they were former lovers, but now they’re destined to be separated forever. Billy Flynn from Boston, Massachusetts, chose to take the high road after splitting from his ex-wife and made sure no matter what, they remained close.

They have two children together so they will always be in each other’s lives, but not everyone feels that way.

Losing touch

Some people only stay together for their children, and when they finally grow up, they can leave their home. Life’s too short, and you shouldn’t stay with someone if they aren’t making you happy, but children are a big responsibility.

You can’t turn your back on them, especially if you want them to stay in your life. Seeing your ex-partner when meeting up with your children can be tough for some to handle, but Billy has made sure it’s not a problem. He wants to be a part of his kids’ lives, so accepts their mom as part of that.

Putting differences aside

Billy and his ex-partner put their differences aside for the sake of their children, and on her birthday, the father does something extra special. Most people in Billy’s situation would do everything possible to stay out of their ex-wife’s life, but not Billy.

He wants his kids to be able to treat their mom on her birthday, so he gets more involved in her special day than most people would expect. Billy is doing this to set a good example for his two young boys, so he puts any feelings aside to make sure his ex-partner has a great birthday.

Sensitive to his kids’ perceptions

Most people put lots of distance between themselves and their ex-partner, but Billy sees the bigger picture. He is aware that his two young sons are constantly watching what he and his mom are doing, so Billy wants to make sure the kids learn how to treat people.

Billy knows he and his ex-wife are raising two little men who will one day be adults themselves. The father knows that however, he treats his sons’ mom is largely going to shape how they deem it appropriate to treat women. Knowing this, Billy keeps things respectable between him and his ex-wife.

Rise above it

Billy addresses the fact that he and his ex-partner are divorced and how important it is for him to remain on good terms with her. He wants to create good relationship behavior and says parents that aren’t doing that need to get their acts together.

Being civil to your ex-partner is bigger than any argument between the ex-lovers, Billy sees the bigger picture and is aware of the impact it might have on his boys. Plus there’s no harm in just being a good person by accepting the relationship didn’t work, and it’s time to move on with your lives.

Doing it for the world

By posting what he did for his ex-wife’s birthday, Billy hoped to inspire others. He urged people to raise “good men” and “strong women,” and feels that the world needs good people “more than ever.”

Billy is doing his part by raising two boys who learn to love and respect women through their father’s actions. It would have been easy for Billy to be frosty around his kids’ mother, but he chose not to be.

For the kids

Billy’s post claimed that he heads to his ex-wife’s house early in the morning armed with flowers, a card, and a gift. These were not for Billy to give to his ex-wife, but he was giving them to his kids so they could make their mom feel special on her birthday.

Billy was certainly going above and beyond what is expected of an ex-husband, but he wasn’t doing it for anyone other than his kids.

Making breakfast

The father didn’t stop at bringing over a bunch of gifts to give his children. He also helped his two boys cook a birthday breakfast for their mom so she could wake up to the smell of freshly cooked food.

That’s a lot of detail for an ex-partner, but it’s all part of Billy’s life lessons he’s trying to impart on his children. If his plan works, his values could stay with his kids forever.

Why he does it

Although it’s not really anyone’s business why Billy chooses to do something so sweet for his ex-wife, he decided he was going to explain his actions anyway. The special birthday for his ex-wife is something that Billy has been doing for a while, and every year he gets asked about it.

Being asked about his actions “annoys” Billy, so he explained the reasons for his behavior. That was when Billy broke it down for people.

Learning young

Billy’s actions for his ex-wife were all about teaching important values to his children, and he wanted everyone to know that’s why he still does it. The heartwarming story of Billy’s actions didn’t go unnoticed, and the post spread quickly across the internet.

Once people understood why he did it, Billy’s actions were appreciated by everyone who read about them. It looks as though Billy’s kids have a great role model for them to follow.

A wild success

The story was shared more than 140,000 times, and it didn’t take long for it to gain over 500,000 likes. Billy’s story was shared on the Love What Matters Facebook page. People loved the fact Billy does this sweet thing for both his children’s benefit and his ex-wife’s.

Many divorced parents commented on the post, sharing similar stories where they also did things for their exes, even though they no longer had to.

Not done yet

One person said that just because adults can be done with each other, it doesn’t mean that the parents are done with their kids. Divorced parents should still give their children the opportunity to love the other parent, which doesn’t always happen.

It’s not easy to put emotions to one side for the sake of the children, but people like Billy show it is possible. The most important thing in that situation is the children.

Leading by example

For Billy, it’s pretty simple when it comes to his kids. What better way to show them the behavior he would like them to have than doing it himself. It’s like if parents expect their kids not to shout or swear, but do it all the time in front of them.

Leading by example is the best way for children to learn from their parents, and it is what Billy seems determined to continue doing.

A new generation

The tide is slowly turning, and people are becoming more tolerant of each other. The world is still nowhere near perfect, and plenty of people still suffer discrimination, but with parents like Billy, there’s a chance the next generation is better.

His children look destined to grow up knowing all about respect for others and for women. This is something Billy can look back on with a lot of pride when his boys grow up.

First-hand experience

Billy has a lot of experience with broken families as he works in family law. He can see first-hand the damage that having the wrong attitude around his kids can have and how not to set an example for them.

The thoughtful approach to his children’s mentality is refreshing and shows that people are able to put their differences aside for the greater good. Now it’s up to other parents to try doing the same.
 

No blueprint

When it comes to family life and divorce, there’s no blueprint. People split up for a bunch of different reasons, so what works for one couple won’t necessarily work elsewhere. Billy’s approach seems to be working for him and his family, but everyone’s different.

Sometimes relationships end in heartbreak, and there’s no amount of birthday breakfasts that can make up for that. Billy’s rational approach is removing the emotion that many people cannot get over.

Using children

Instead of setting a sensible example like Billy and his ex-wife, some parents use their divorce as a way to fight over their children’s feelings. It’s not really that healthy for either the kids or the parents because it gets messy pretty quickly and insults begin to fly.

Some divorces drag on for a long time due to the fact that children are involved and both parents are fighting hard for custody of their kids.

Removing emotion

Heartbreak is a tough thing to get over, and if the end of a marriage isn’t mutual, then one side is going to feel very different than the other. Billy is trying to show his kids the value of relationships and not scare them by making the break more painful than it needs to be.

His kids can learn that even though their parents aren’t together any longer, they still have respect for each other.

Sharing their story

It’s not always easy being rational in a breakup like Billy was. One of the people who commented on Billy’s post said that their mom did something similar. The commenter said their mom would make breakfast for their dad when he came to pick them up for his visits.

Their mom wouldn’t stay and eat breakfast, but she was happy to do this for their kids so they could spend more time with their father.

Leading by example

In a later Facebook post, Billy said that “leading by example is hard.” Not only is it tricky, but he said with tiny eyes watching you, it makes it harder. He wished all the dads out there a Happy Father’s Day for putting in the work to make sure they set the standards to be the men they need in their lives.

Even though it can be a struggle, it seems Billy tries his best.

Addressing the post

Billy’s post went viral in 2017, but in June 2019 he discovered it was still making its way around the internet. He says he doesn’t read the comments but likes to see who is sharing his post.

What Billy found interesting was that two years ago he was seeing mostly women share his story, but now there has been a tide change. Billy estimates around 30% of the people sharing his post are now men.

A change in mindset?

Could it be that two years ago, Billy’s story helped to change people’s mindset when it comes to ex-partners? A lot more men appear to be sharing his post now, so perhaps Billy has been able to influence more people than he might have expected.

His story is helping to teach people there is more than one choice after divorce, and people can still remain amicable towards each other after the papers have been signed.

Lasting effects

Billy deals with families on the verge of breaking every day through his job. He believes that divorce attorneys should aim to both protect their clients’ interests, but to also consider the lasting effects of the process.

Billy thinks lawyers shouldn’t encourage their clients to argue over every little thing and start their divorced lives in a financial and emotional hole. He says lawyers padding their pockets “at the expense of more stress is gross.”